While the purpose of a Shiva is super important, there is a side of it that has always unnerved me. Shiva is the seven days of mourning that follows the death of a relative. It is usually observed in the home of the deceased, or in the home of a family member. Shivas provide comfort and companionship to those who are mourning.
I have attended many shivas over the years, and I have always noted that several folks take advantage of the occasion to eat their meals. It almost becomes a party for them. They don’t mean to be disrespectful, but the food is a big lure. They visit several times just to wolf down.
Most shivas feature a buffet of the best delicacies you have ever seen, much of which gets donated by friends.
Years ago there was a very popular movie called “Wedding Crashers” where two free loaders would “crash” weddings just to eat. Now there is an app called i-shiva that’s lists all of the neighborhood shivas so a good, hot free meal, is in walking distance. Okay, it’s a joke, but you must watch the video.
The food is supposed to be for the family sitting Shiva – other than the first meal after returning from the cemetery for all the mourners and guests… is what I always thought…
and as far as the video ad for I-Shiva, I find it totally offensive and disrespectful… nothing funny about losing a loved one…
Of course, that is why I posted it. When my father died, we had second cousins and friends who came night after night. They chowed down and never cleaned up after themselves. These were folks who we rarely saw and then twice in the last 40 years. Another gal who worked for me brought her little girl and proceeded to feed her at the buffet table. Should I tell you what the floor looked like? Then there were those who headed for the food when they walked in before even saying hello.
Then let’s talk about the Wakes. I went to a few. Everyone stands around having a good time with their backs to the coffin. The poor dead person just laying there with no respect.
I had deep discussions with my mother about this. I really can’t remember all of the details but she agreed that the shiva period was not perfect. We cut the shiva days for my father because the loss was so great for me and I didn’t want a crowd around me. It helps some people but not me. A loss is a loss. I’m still suffering.
This is so awesome! Would be great in so many senior communities in South Florida.
of course Lois, should have known – especially since our moms were friends and thought the same way about a lot of things!
No problem at all. I loved what you said. Always do. Same for Barbara. Keep it going.