1-I lived in a houseboat for a while, and started seeing the girl next door.Eventually we drifted apart.

2-My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic. I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it is going to be on my own Accord.

3-A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him, that’s the last thing I need.

4-The neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs. We had been his customers for 8 years.We had no idea he was a barber.

5-100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars.Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.Oh how the stables have turned.

6-My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, “There’s something I must confess.””m. “Shhh” I said “There’s nothing to confess. Everything is all right.” “No, I must die in peace” he said,”I had sex with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker” “I know” I whispered, “That’s why I poisoned you…”Now close your eyes.”

7-Did you hear about McDonald’s trying to get into the high end steakhouse market? It was a Big McSteak.

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