“How to appear cultured without going to a museum”

Thank you Jayda Knight for sharing this with me.

 

01) If the background is dark and everyone looks tortured, it’s Titian.

 

 

 02) If everyone has large buttocks and the women have small breasts, it’s Rubens.

 

 

03) If all the men have eyes like cows and look gay, it’s Caravaggio. 

 

 

04) If there are lots of people, it’s Pieter Bruegel. 

 

 

05) If everyone looks like a beggar under a public street lamp it’s Rembrandt. 

 

 

06) If the painting includes cupids or sheep (or if you think there might be), it’s François Boucher.

 

 

07) If the people are beautiful, naked and all piled up, it’s Michelangelo.

 

 

08) If there are ballet dancers, it’s Degas.

 

 

09) If it is very high contrast and the men wear beards on emaciated faces, it’s El Greco 

 

 

10) If the men look like Vladimir Putin, it’s Van Eyck 

 

 

11) If everyone looks like thieves and morons while trying to look serious… 
… it is not a painting; it’s Congress!

 

 

 

3 thoughts on ““How to appear cultured without going to a museum”

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