I have always been suspicious of people who don’t look me in the eye during a conversation. This has been going on forever. Sometimes it has irked me so much I’ve actually asked the person to look my way. Most obliged, but after a few minutes they’d go back to their usual habit of focusing on something over my head.

Today, I discovered that eye contact is becoming less frequent for many people at work and in social settings. Thanks to mobile devices, a growing number of folks are losing their emotional connection with family members as well as casual acquaintances. I don’t know about everyone else, but I can’t keep going around forcing people to look at me.

Sue Shellenbarger, who writes Work and Family for the Wall Street Journal, recently wrote that when she was having a conversation with someone, suddenly his eyes would drop to the smartphone. She feels this is happening more than ever. Quantified Impressions, a communications analytics company, reported that adults make eye contact between 30% and 60% of the time in an average conversation. They should be making eye contact 60% to 70% of the time to create a sense of emotional connection.

Shellenbarger points out that it has almost become culturally acceptable to answer that phone at dinner, or to glance down to check your emails. A study from Computers in Human Behavior claims that many people have FOMO, or “fear of missing out” on social opportunities.

A 2009 research review in Image and Vision Computing showed that, compared with others, people who are high-status tend to look longer at people they’re talking to.

For those folks who are shy, insecure, or have just gotten into bad cell phone habits, Shellenbarger’s column recommends holding eye contact for seven to ten seconds in a one-on-one conversation, and for three to five seconds in a group setting.

It’s so difficult for me to believe I’m writing about this subject because I love to have eye contact with people. I remember the segments with Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm  when he gets very close to friends so he can examine their eyes to see if they are telling the truth. I relate to that. Eyes convey information that words do not. I check my mobile email many times during the day, but would never think of looking away long enough to miss that almighty expression.