Available December 9th.
I’m always afraid that my cell phone is going to ring at the most inopportune time. Even when I completely shut it off during a play or movie, I get panic-stricken that it will ring anyway and I will not be able to turn it off.
Eliot is unaware of this, but I actually map out my get away if my phone should ring. I comfort myself by memorizing where the exit is and how many people I will have to jump over for my escape. Sometimes I hold my powerless cell on my lap during a show just so I don’t have to spend a second more looking for it when the impossible happens.
I absolutely get giddy when someone else’s phone rings. I laugh out of nerves. Eliot and I were at a wedding in New Jersey last September when the Rabbi asked the entire congregation to shut off their phones. We sat silently waiting for the Rabbi to begin the ceremony. He was in no hurry. He asked us all several times if we were ready. Everyone nodded yes.
It wasn’t five minutes later that a cell phone started ringing. Unfortunately, it belonged to an elderly woman behind me. I could hear her fumbling for her phone. After three rings, she managed to stop it. It happened two more times.
By the third set of rings, her husband very calmly asked her if she knew how to shut off her phone? Without a care in the world she answered, “No!” Everyone, in rows around them, were ready to knock the two of them out. The offending couple, on the other hand, sat there totally unfazed that they disturbed and interrupted the ceremony.
Tech journalist David Pogue recently explained how to turn your phone off on-the-spot if it should start ringing. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your fault. Shut the damn thing off.