David Diamond, A Lexophile      

Our friend David loves words. He recently sent me the best lexicographics for this year’s competition . 

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

And finally:

Those who get too big for their britches will be totally exposed in the end.

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