I never liked cats. I’m definitely a dog person. However, I came across the video below on the Internet and fell in love with this darling feline.

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Orchids At Night

Photos by Eliot Hess

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Eat, Eat, Eat! All we do is Eat!

If you watch the news— you know there are people who are making millions buying and selling NFT artwork, sport clips and more.

It stands for “non-fungible token.”

So what is an NFT?

AND should you be investing in an NFT?

Is NFT artwork the next Bitcoin?

In just 30 minutes you can learn all that you need do know.

Lois Whitman Hess and Steve Greenberg talk with an expert in the art world about NFTs on their zoom podcast, “Lying on the Beach on Camera.”

Dan Mikesell is President of Blackdove, a digital art gallery and delivery platform to residential and corporate clients. He is also co-founder of the Miami based art residency program called Fountainhead which over the past 13-years has hosted 430-artists from 45-countries for its month-long artists-in-residency program.

Click here

Don’t look at the answers yet, until the end.

The answers are printed below, (after the questions) but don’t cheat! answer them first…

01.After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask,”Who was that masked man?”Invariably, someone would answer, “I don’t know, but he left this behind.” What did he leave behind? A ______ ______.

02.When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on The __ ________ Show.

03.”Get your kicks, __ _____ __!”

04. The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to _______ ___ _______.’

05.’In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ___ ____ ______ _______.’

06.After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we ‘danced’ under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the ‘_____.’

07.Nestle’s makes the very best… _________.’

08.Satchmo was America ‘s ‘Ambassador of Goodwill.’ Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was ____ _________.

09.What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? ___ _____ _____.

10.Red Skeleton’s hobo character was named ______ ___ __________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, ‘Good Night, and ‘___ ____ ‘

11.Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their _____ _____.

12.The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ______ or ___.

13.In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, ‘the day the music died.’ This was a tribute to _____ _____.

14.We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called _______.

15.One of the big fads of the late 50’s and 60’s was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the _____-____.

16.Remember LS/MFT _____ ______ /_____ ____ _______.

17.Hey Kids! What time is it? It’s _____ _____ ____!

18.Who knows what secrets lie in the hearts of men? Only The ______ Knows!

19. There was a song that came out in the 60’s that was “a grave yard smash”. It’s name was the _______ ____!

20.Alka Seltzer used a “boy with a tablet on his head” as it’s Logo/Representative. What was the boy’s name was ______.

ANSWERS:

01.The Lone Ranger left behind… A silver bullet

02.The Ed Sullivan Show

03.On Route 66

O4.To protect the innocent

05.The Lion Sleeps Tonight

06.The limbo

07.Chocolate

08.Louis Armstrong

09.The Timex Watch

10.Freddy, The Freeloader and ‘Good Night and God Bless.’

11.Draft Cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed)

12.Beetleor Bug

13.Buddy Holly

14.Sputnik

15.Hoola-hoop

16.Lucky Strike/Means Fine Tobacco

17.Howdy Doody Time

18.Shadow

19.Monster Mash

20.Speedy

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Thank you Michael Sommer of Park City, Utah

More people live in New York City than in 40 of the 50 states.

The word “Pennsylvania” is misspelled on the Liberty Bell.

There is enough water in Lake Superior to cover all of North and South Americain one foot of liquid.

There’s a town in Washington with treetop bridges made specifically to help squirrels cross the street

In 1872, Russia sold Alaska to the Unites States for about 2 cents per acre.

It would take you more than 400 years to spend a night in all of Las Vegas’s hotel rooms.

Western Michigan is home to a giant lavender labyrinth so big you can see it on Google Earth.

There’s an island full of wild monkeys off the coast of South Carolina calledMorgan Island, and it’s not open to humans.

There’s enough concrete in the Hoover Dam to build a two-lane highway from San Francisco to New York City.

Arizona and Hawaii are now the only states that don’t observe daylight savings time.

Boston has the worst drivers out of the nation’s 200 largest cities. Kansas City has the best drivers.

Kansas produces enough wheat each year to feed everyone in the world for about two weeks.

Oregon’s Crater Lake is deep enough to cover six Statues of Liberty stacked on top of each other.

The Empire State building has its own zip code.

The Los Angeles Coroner’s Office has its own quirky gift shop called Skeletons in the Closet.

The Library of Congress contains approximately 838 miles of bookshelves—long enough to stretch from Houston to Chicago.

At 46 letters, Massachusetts’s Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg has the longest place name in the U.S. (even though it’s based on a joke).

In 1922, a man built a house and all his furniture entirely out of 100,000 newspapers. The structure still stands today in Rockport, Massachusetts.

The entire Denver International Airport is twice the size of Manhattan.

In 1893, an amendment was proposed to rename the country to the “United States of Earth.”

A highway in Lancaster, California plays the “William Tell Overture” as you drive over it, thanks to some well-placed grooves in the road.

The total length of Idaho’s rivers could stretch across the United States about 40 times.

The town of Centralia, Pennsylvania has been on fire for 55 years.

The one-woman town of Monowi, Nebraska is the only officially incorporated municipality with a population of 1. The sole, 83-year-old resident is the city’s mayor, librarian, and bartender.

The entire town of Whittier, Alaska lives under one roof.

The number of bourbon barrels in Kentucky outnumbers the state’s population by more than two million.

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Thank you Michael Sommer

ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humour columnist for the Miami Herald.

Colonoscopy Journal:  

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a colour diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn’t really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, ‘HE’S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!‘

I left Andy’s office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called ‘MoviPrep,’ which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now, suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America ‘s enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I ate no solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavour.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-litre plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a litre is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes – and here I am being kind – like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humour, state that after you drink it, ‘a loose, watery bowel movement may result.’

This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don’t want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the toilet had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another litre of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, ‘What if I spurt on Andy?’ How do you apologise to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.

At first I was ticked off that I hadn’t thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realised that the song was ‘Dancing Queen’ by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, ‘Dancing Queen’ had to be the least appropriate.

‘You want me to turn it up?’ said Andy, from somewhere behind me...

‘Ha ha,’ I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling ‘Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,’ and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colours. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies…

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) whilst he was performing their colonoscopies:

 ‘Can you hear me NOW?’

 ‘Are we there yet?  Are we there yet? Are we there yet?’

 ‘You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.’

 ‘Hey!  Now I know how a Muppet feels!’

 ‘Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.’

 ‘You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?’

 ‘God, now I know why I am not gay.’

And the best one of all:

‘Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?’