How the Internet started according to the Bible  

Please do not Google or check this with Snopes. Trust me! They will lie to you.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.

Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder, long of leg, and she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a full camel load, but simply said, “How, dear?”

Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

After thinking long and hard, Abraham decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out, were an immediate success, and Abraham sold all the goods he had at top price without ever having to move from his tent.

In order to prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS). She also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew to the People (HTTP).

Young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung, and they were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

Lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed, he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drum heads and drumsticks.

Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known and said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”

Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO,” said Abraham, and because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that’s the truth.

I would not make up this stuff.


Written by Walter Salm, a senior tech writer.

Thank you Walter

Happy New Year

Photos by Eliot Hess

Happy New Year From Miami

Wishing all of our family and friends a Happy New Year. We ended 2017 with a great day at sea thanks to Ruth and Howard Greenberg. All of the Greenberg children were there too. The special guest was Whiskey, the Greenberg pooch.

We spent the day on a 40-foot catamaran cruising Biscayne Bay and then visiting Stiltsville, a group of wood stilt houses located one mile south of cape Florida on the edge of Biscayne Bay in Miami-Dade County, Florida.

It’s weird to have such a gorgeous day here when most of the country is freezing. It wasn’t that long ago that we were struggling through a hurricane called Irma. Every area of the country has its good and bad.

We hope 2018 is a healthy and happy one for everyone. Lots of good stuff coming up in the days ahead. I leave for CES January 7th so I should be showing you many innovative products. I have to get these old bones ready for miles of walking to see all of the exhibits. See you next year.


The Making Of “The Shape Of Water”

Eliot and I had the good fortune of watching the “The Shape Of Water” at the Coral Gables Art Cinema Wednesday night. We are members and we love the vibe there. The founder and the artistic director of the theater usually introduce the movies with creative background stories.

We had a special bonus Wednesday night. The theater arranged for an after-movie interview with the screenwriter Vanessa Taylor via Skype. Taylor wrote the movie with director/producer Guillermo del Toro.

The interview turned out to be very interesting for anyone who loves movies, is interested in the making of, or wants to get into the business. Taylor’s candor spoke volumes about how movies are made and how much of the work is as routine as most of our jobs.

I taped the interview but not very well. I was sitting in the back of the theater and was blocked by rows of people in front of me. Then the Skype froze and we only had audio. I did the best I could. It’s the content that counts. I had a half hour’s worth but YouTube would only record 15 minutes worth.

The video should be seen by everyone who wants to get into the business. There are lessons to be learned.

The Shape of Water is a 2017 American fantasy drama film[4][3] directed by Guillermo del Toro and written by del Toro and Vanessa Taylor. The film stars Sally Hawkins, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Doug Jones, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Octavia Spencer. Set in Baltimore in 1962, the plot follows a mute custodian at a high-security government laboratory who befriends a captured amphibian creature.

Paranoia “Likes” Syndrome

Steve and Lois

We thought it wouldn’t happen. We felt we were successful and confidant enough to handle the competition. We promised ourselves we would never get caught up in the social media groupie lifestyle.

We did. Steve Greenberg is a monthly Today Show contributor, and TV personality on 20-plus morning news shows around the country. I am, (Lois Whitman-Hess) the co-owner of HWH PR, and author of DigiDame.

The two of us often commiserate that we don’t get enough “likes” on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, to show the rest of the world that we matter. We are both proud of our accomplishments, but not with the number of likes we get. We know we are not alone. Millions of people feel the same way.

We decided to explore this topic on Lying on the Beach, our podcast. After listening, please share your thoughts with us. We are looking for a rationalization as to why we are so addicted to social media.

Click here to hear our podcast.

Star Shower

If you want to jazz up your party, or any festive environment, I just discovered a very inexpensive solution that will put everyone in a celebration mood.

It’s called the Star Shower Slide Show and it projects all kinds of colors and shapes on the walls inside and outside of your house. You can even control the speed of the movement.

All you have to do is choose a slide, insert it into the unit, and watch your surroundings turn into a complete fantasyland. This is prefect for both young and old. Everyone loves a magical environment. This is a true party booster.

• Easy to use

• Water-resistant casing

• 12 holiday slides

• 3 speeds: slow, fast, and freeze

• Indoor base to use Slide Show™ inside

• Safe in snow and rain

• Replaces holiday décor for Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, July 4th, and Halloween

• Covers up to 3200 square feet

• Bright LED Lights

• Includes Star Shower® Slide Show™ (with 12 full-color slides, extra-long outdoors stake, indoor base, and Lifetime Guarantee)

The Star Shower is sold in all kinds of variety stores across the country for approximately $29.85.

The Forward Is Backward

You would think in today’s #metoo world, women would be more supportive of each other. I was surprised to see the article by TV writer Susan Silver (“The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “The Bob Newhart Show” and “Maude”) in the Forward, a daily newspaper for American Jews, criticizing Amy Sherman-Palladino on her much recognized TV comedy “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” Sherman-Palladino is also a TV writer and producer. She is known for the Gilmore Girls and the Bunheads.

I am particularly upset with the Forward for publishing Silver’s critique because she said “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” was anti-semitic and the TV show is problematic in tone, writing, directing and acting. Eliot and I just finished watching the Amazon series and we enjoyed every minute of it. A number of friends are recommending the show to each other, and are calling out specific parts because they love the dialog.

I am writing this piece because I want to criticize The Forward for publishing Silver’s article that clearly reeks from jealousy and insecurity. It’s one thing to have one TV writer review another, but it’s really upsetting when they allow someone to stir up anti-semitic accusations. Not once did I feel that the TV series was portraying the Jewish characters as unflattering stereotypes.

I asked my Irish girlfriend if she thought the TV Show was showing Jews in a bad light. She looked at me like I was crazy. While she knew that the TV family was Jewish, she said as far as she was concerned they could have been Italian or Irish, or WASP’s, White Anglo-Saxon Protestant (WASP). Silver is so jealous of Sherman-Palladino’s success that she is starting trouble where there is none.

I asked a Jewish girlfriend who watched the show if she thought Jews were mocked in “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” and her response was the most interesting. “Hell no,” she said. “Most Jews of that time were not wealthy and did not live in the upper west side in large apartments. Nor did they have wardrobes that equaled a fashionista.”

I hope you will watch the series soon and let me know your opinion. Meanwhile, this is how Wikipedia explains the show.

A MAD(Cap) Goodbye?

I have only been working virtually (at home) for a few years, but I obviously forgot what it was like to be in an office environment surrounded by co-workers. It all came back to me when I recently saw a video of the closing of MAD magazine’s New York office. The 65-year old humor and satire publication is moving its headquarters to Burbank, CA.

My friend Dick De Bartolo has been writing and providing creative services for the publication close to 40 years. Dick has also been a tech broadcaster for ABC and his own podcast show for many years. He recently posted a video of many of the long-time New York workers at MAD magazine saying goodbye to each other. It gave me a good cry. It reminded me of all the good business friends I’ve had over the years, and how close we all were.

I loved watching Dick and his cohorts. It warmed my heart to see the emotions, the camaraderie, the commitment, the passion, and most of all, the celebration of their many years together. I just wanted to jump in the video and be a part of their group. It must have been so much fun working with them on a humor magazine.

After watching the video 10 times, it suddenly dawned on me that I was possibly duped. This was probably staged because MAD magazine is a humor periodical written by guys who would intentionally create a fun, fake farewell.. Truth or false, I enjoyed it.

Dick, thank you for sharing the memorable farewell video. I will never forget it.

Some of the Facebook posts Dick recently shared.

CarWink Is A New Way To Communicate In Your Car

Every time we go for a drive, I am more and more convinced that half the people on the road should have their driving licenses revoked. I used to think the worse drivers were on Miami highways. Now I see the same insane driving moves in New York and Los Angeles.

I wish I could make citizen arrests. Someone has to do something. I know I have no power, but where are the traffic cops when cars are swaying in and out of lanes, and cutting cars off at high speeds. I want to let them know what a danger they are on the road.

Now there is a way for vehicles to talk to each other. Install CarWink on your windshield. Controlled by a companion app, this gadget has developed a wide variety of emojis for your windshield that can be seen by other cars when they pass you. CarWink if you want to say thank you, let those behind you know that there is an accident ahead, tell others they are driving too fast or getting too close.

Watch the video to see how it works. Don’t get angry, get CarWink the next time you are on the road.