Pandemic Yiddish

Thank you Gary Arlen.

We really appreciate this treat.

These 10 Yiddish Words Will Get You Through Quarantine 


1. Tsedrate

adj. (tsuh-DRATE) All mixed up, confused.

Before the Covid-19 virus, tsedrayte meant we couldn’t remember if we promised to meet a friend for lunch on Thursday or Friday. Now we don’t know what day of the week it is. These days, just getting the mail makes us tsedrayte. Do we leave the letters on the floor for 24 hours? Do we wipe the package before we put it on the floor or wash our hands and then wipe the package? And what do we do after we open it?


2. Shpilkes

(SHPILL-kiss) Impatience, restlessness.

Before Covid-19, when our young kids had “ants in their pants,” we’d tell them to go outside and play. Now, however, we have to mask them up first, and watch them carefully so they stay six feet away from all the other kids who are also trying to get their shpilkes out. We used to go out to a yoga class; now when our little ones have shpilkes, we watch Cosmic Kids Yoga and do downward facing dogs right along with them.


3. Shlub

n. (SHLUB) A slob; some who dresses sloppily.

All this self-quarantining has made shlubs even shlubbier. Sweatpants and torn T-shirts have gone from weekend wear to all day, everyday wear — unless you’re one of those people who dons business casual from the waist up for your Zoom conference calls. If we’ve learned any fashion sense while being self-quarantined, it’s that a bra is optional.


4. Pulkes

pl. n. (PULL-keys) Thighs.

The word usually refers to cute, chubby baby thighs, but it can also mean those belonging to poultry. And with all the freezer diving we’re doing, we’ve discovered and eaten our fair share of pulkes in the last month. We’re counting the days till we can swap out our sweatpants for shorts and attend a summer barbecue, but we’re not certain our pulkes will be ready for public viewing after all we’ve eaten.


5. Sekhel

n. (SEH-khul) Common sense; good judgment.

Advice used to flow downstream. Our parents would nag us: “Have a little sekhel; do you really have to fly when you’re pregnant?” Now the tables have turned and we nag our parents: “Wash your hands. Wear a mask. You’re going to the supermarket? You’re old. Stay home!” And our kids? They have the computer sekhel we need: They’ve taught us how to complete the online school attendance form and how to limit our Facebook posts to “friends only” so we don’t embarrass them in front of “the whole world!” They’ve also taught us that there’s nothing wrong with eating ice cream twice a day.


6. Eyngeshparter

n. (AYN-guh-shpar-ter) A stubborn person; someone who cannot be convinced with logic.

These are the people who are protesting to end the shutdown before it’s safe, ordering “cures” on the Internet, and claiming the pandemic is all a hoax.


7. Bubkes

n. (BUP-kiss) Literally beans, nothing.

Something that’s worthless or that falls short of expectations. In this new normal, we’re getting used to bubkes in the toilet paper aisle, bubkes in our fresh vegetable drawer, and bubkes in our checking account.


8. Ongeblozen

adj. (un-geh-BLUH-zin) Sulky, pouty; a sourpuss.

Our kids used to get ongeblozzen when we said we couldn’t go out for pizza. Now everyone’s ongeblozzen because we spent all afternoon making dough from scratch… and we didn’t have the right kind of cheese. “It tastes funny. It doesn’t taste like Panzone’s pizza. Why can’t we go to Panzone’s?”


9. Tsuris

n. (TSORE-iss) troubles and worries; problems.

We can’t help worrying when our sister tells us she had a suspicious mammogram or our son hints that someone bullied him in school. But these days, instead of worrying about illness or money or school or our family or the future — we’re worried about all of it. Tsuris has gone from personal to universal.


10. Oy

int. (OY)

Perhaps the most popular Yiddish expression, oy conveys dozens of emotions, from surprise, joy, and relief to pain, fear and grief. Bubbe Mitzi used to say that just groaning “a good oy” could make you feel better.


So give a good oy, tie the shmata on your face — be sure to cover your mouth and your nose! — and try not to get tsedrate. Here’s hoping all this tsuris will be over soon

Reading, Writing And Meeting Weirdos

I think Mitchell Kaplan, owner of Books&Books, Miami, along with his Zoom guests, author John Grisham and author Carl Hiaason, forgot they were on camera this past Wednesday. It was like a boys night out. Eliot and I had 90 minutes of good laughs.


They started discussing embarrassing things that happen to them on the road during book signings. They miss going to book stores and personally meeting fans.


They talked about no one showing up for book signings, people coming by to say hello and never buying books, and being asked to sign some very strange things.


John said that one time a woman waited on a crowded line for a half hour, walked up to the desk he was sitting at, and asked him to sign her breast. He noticed her tough-looking boyfriend to the side who was just staring at him.


He decided to accommodate. Her breast was rather large so he signed John Grisham and added Jr. because there was plenty of room.


She buttoned up and walked away. Then her boy friend walked up to the desk, looked John right in the eye and unzipped his pants. He took out his penis and said, “sign this.” Without hesitation, John took his magic marker, and made the illusion to sign J.G, because there wasn’t enough room for his whole name. By that time the police showed up and asked John if he wanted to press charges. He said “no” for the gal and “yes” for the guy


John has a new book, “A Time For Mercy” coming out this October and Carl’s book, “Squeeze Me,” was just released. Carl just got engaged. At 68, this will be his third marriage.





Do you believe this nut job is Governor Gavin Newsom’s ex-wife? What was he thinking? Don’t answer that.

IT’S A DOG’S LIFE

Meg Sahdala has devoted her working life to rescuing animals. Lois Whitman-Hess and Steve Greenberg aren’t “going to the dogs,” instead they are talking to Meg during this edition of “Lying On The Beach On Camera” (LOBOC).

Meg’s beautiful daughter is now pre-teen

Meg’s story is an unusual one. While working for EB Brands – a niche accessories company— Meg started her own animal related company named DOG CLOTHES AVENUE.


Back in 2014, Meg made a bold move and opened a non-profit charity called MIAMI ANIMAL RESCUE, established to rescue abandoned pets in South Florida.


Six years later, Miami Animal Rescue is one of the largest Florida rescues with a newly opened shelter branch in Colorado last year.


Miami Animal Rescue (www.MiamiAnimalRescue.org) has saved thousands of animals — and has received many honors and awards.


Oldies From Richie Grand 🎶🎶🎶

My friend for many decades, Richie Grand, loves the oldies. We all do. He recently sent me some of his favorite picks which I thought I would share with you.

These selections should provide you with a good walk down memory lane. It will also take you back to the time when life was so different. I wonder how many of us liked it better then, or prefer now?

Get The Cleanest Tush In Town 💦💦💦💦

https://youtu.be/f6i7K4r8mog


https://youtu.be/f6i7K4r8mog

I have a friend who is always boasting that he has the cleanest tush in town. He owns the very expensive Toto toilet that automatically cleans his bottom with every flush.


When Eliot and I were in Japan a few years ago we experienced the Toto toilet. Every hotel and public bathroom featured it. I have to admit it really made you feel totally sanitized and fresh after each use.


I really thought when we got back to the United States, we were going to buy a Toto toilet. That was the plan until we realized it was a few thousand dollars. Those plans got put on hold.


Now, I am happy to announce, there is going to be a less expensive alternative to Toto. Called the “WonderSpray,” this new dispenser may not be as luxurious as the automatic cleaning toilet, but it will probably do a very satisfying job.


The “WonderSpray” features a custom-built internal flow system and 4 different custom water pressures. There is a “Light” setting for a more gentle clean, and the favorite “Wonder” setting to get the job done.


The big bonus is that you can take it with you everywhere. You will never have to worry about running out of toilet paper ever again.


The “WonderSpray” should be available in the fourth quarter at various price points.

The inventor is raising money on Kickstarter now so the following are some slides used to get the proper funds. The financials are going very well




My Recent Bird Photos

And The “Picture Bird” ID’s













We Were There Less Than A Year Ago



Loss of Greenland Ice Sheet Reached a Record Last Year


I read the above story in complete horror. It’s amazing that I felt that way considering I knew the news first hand. Eliot and I, and four friends, went on an expedition through Greenland last September.


We saw the ice melting and witnessed temperatures rising. We really thought at the time that the United States would have taken climate change much more seriously by now. No such luck.


The following documents our journey.

The following photos by Eliot Hess

The Status Of The World

I joined The Palmer Group online discussions sessions just when we were all forced to stay home because of the pandemic.


The Palmer Group works on digital transformation, marketing, strategy, data science, AI and Machine Learning with Fortune 500 companies.


They recently polled 1,123 remote workers about how they feel about working from home. They got some interesting results. I thought I would share them with you because I’m sure you are wondering if your family is in sync with the rest of the world.


I am happy and productive working from home.

Strongly agree

44%

Agree

35%

Neither agree nor disagree

9%

Disagree

9%

Strongly disagree

1%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

1%


I want to go back to the office full-time.

Strongly agree

7%

Agree

12%

Neither agree nor disagree

12%

Disagree

34%

Strongly disagree

30%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

6%


I will move to a new city or state if remote work continues indefinitely.

Strongly agree

5%

Agree

13%

Neither agree nor disagree

23%

Disagree

24%

Strongly disagree

28%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

7%


Working from home is less stressful than commuting to and working from the office.

Strongly agree

39%

Agree

28%

Neither agree nor disagree

17%

Disagree

12%

Strongly disagree

3%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

2%


I take more walks and breaks while working from home.

Strongly agree

22%

Agree

34%

Neither agree nor disagree

10%

Disagree

24%

Strongly disagree

9%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

1%


I am exercising more.

Strongly agree

22%

Agree

26%

Neither agree nor disagree

22%

Disagree

21%

Strongly disagree

7%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

1%


I am doing more chores at home.

Strongly agree

17%

Agree

48%

Neither agree nor disagree

19%

Disagree

11%

Strongly disagree

3%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

2%


As the primary childcare provider in my home, it is more difficult for me to balance work and home duty while working from home.

Strongly agree

5%

Agree

10%

Neither agree nor disagree

7%

Disagree

8%

Strongly disagree

2%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

69%


Given a choice, I would prefer to work from home for the rest of my working life.

Strongly agree

31%

Agree

25%

Neither agree nor disagree

17%

Disagree

14%

Strongly disagree

12%

Prefer not to answer or question does not apply to me

1%


Please Share This Post With Every Republican You Know !!!!

Don’t Do It For Me. Do It For Your Children And Grandchildren. Don’t Give Evil Four More Years

Trump told California this week he wasn’t going to help them fight the wildfires because they didn’t rake enough leaves. Trump turned his back on 40 million Americans. If you vote for him you are an accomplice to the biggest crime of your life.



SHARON STONE ASKED ME TO SHOW YOU HER VIDEO


It’s days like this that I want to take everyone who uttered the words “Lock her up” and make them publicly apologize.

Steve Bannon Is Charged With Fraud in We Build the Wall Campaign

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/20/nyregion/steve-bannon-arrested-indicted.html?referringSource=articleShare


I Saved The Best For Last