The Emails Of Dead People

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/73e/34894369/files/2014/12/img_3267-1.jpg Image: dannymullen.net.

I have never been able to delete the name of anyone who has died from my email list. I just can’t do it. If I delete a person’s name, I feel like I’m erasing the fact that he or she ever existed. I need the name listed so I can be connected forever.

It all started in 2006, when a business associate, suddenly died during a meeting in the conference room of a big name advertising agency. She keeled over after suffering an aneurysm. Bernice Kanner was 57.

Bernice was well known in the advertising business. She wrote a marketing column for New York magazine for over 10 years plus she was the author of scores of business books.
She also did some free lance work for HWH PR, my agency, so we were pretty close.

The first time I saw her name on my email list after her death, I stared at it for a long time. It was like having my own personal memorial service. It’s been that way ever since. I like to stop to stare at her name when I’m scrolling my list because it reminds me to be grateful and thankful for whatever I have.

I have hundreds of names on my email list and still keep at least 10 people who died over the years. I only keep those that I was personally friendly with. I sometimes even keep an email message that I got from the deceased. I can never get rid of the one from Karen Fisher. She wrote several beautiful emails to me after my dog, Coco, died. They were so comforting at the time and still are today.

My big regret is that the Internet didn’t exist before some of my other very close family and friends left this world. I would have liked to have seen their names on my email list as a reminder how fortunate I was to have had them in my life.

I’m not at all interested in adding others to my email memorial list. In fact, I’m truly grateful for each day that goes by without hearing any bad news. I thank my higher power.

Karen And Aaron, A Love Story

I wanted to officially document the greatest love story of all time that just happened to take place in the consumer electronics business. Since I or others may never get around to writing a book about it, I thought my blog would be the most appropriate platform to tell the Romeo and Juliet story of Aaron Neretin and Karen Fisher

Aaron Neretin

Aaron was for decades a well known and highly respected editor, writer, and researcher in the consumer electronics business (Home Furnishings Daily, Fairchild Publication and Merchandising, Billboard); and Karen was a celebrated super agent for interior designers (Designer Previews) and a magazine and book author (Home Furnishings Daily, Cosmopolitan,  American Home and Esquire). They both received numerous industry awards.

Karen Fisher

They were as opposite as day and night except for their love for each other. She was tall, very thin, very statuesque, wore designer clothes, played tennis several times a week, and did the round of elegant parties in the most exclusive of places. She was never married, never had children. He was tall, big, and round. He loved the horses, Las Vegas, his children and grandchildren — not necessarily in that order. Aaron was well-read, a brilliant speaker, and loved being the life of the party. You often heard his voice before actually seeing him in a crowd. Karen was more reserved. 

They both died last year. She from brain cancer in her early 70s and he from a broken heart in his early 80s. While they became a couple late in life, they still had close to 25 years together.For a good many of those years they maintained separate apartments. They did live together most weekends and more often at the end when she was helping to take care of him after some heart issues. The irony was that she became terminally ill and he ended up taking care of her.Then he just didn’t want to live without her. He suffered a massive stroke and died a few months before her. 

The purpose of this story is to let you know their love affair can only be described as   some thing larger than their distinguished careers. Most industry people only really  knew the surface of it. I was there when they met back in 1966 at Home Furnishings Daily.We all worked together in the city news room and our desks were literally back to back. I was also lucky to have known them decades later when they reunited as the most loyal and devoted life partners. Eliot and I spent many joyous times with them both in New York City and Miami Beach where we all split our time. Karen and Aaron introduced us to a Turkish restaurant in NYC on 10th avenue in the 50s called Taboon. We still go there and start every meal with a toast to them.

It is so interesting to reflect on how these opposites expressed their true love. They shared a devotion that only the most brilliant and practical could manifest. Their life together was simple.They stuck to the true basics that can only make the most grounded happy: tons of laughs, good company, great conversations, and a steamy love life. I think they both confided in me. The thing that intrigued me most about them was the way they spoke about each other. He praised her for building a fantastic business and she praised him for just being fantastic. How refreshing!