Jerry’s Ink

Jerry Della Femina posts this essay on Facebook every year. He keeps posting it because he keeps finding offenders.

Jerry Della Femina (born 1936) is an American advertising executive and restaurateur. Starting from a poor Italian background in Brooklyn, he eventually became chairman of Della Femina Travisano & Partners, an agency which he founded with Ron Travisano in the 1960s. Over the next two decades they grew the company into a major advertising house that was billing $250 million per year and had 300 employees and offices in both New York and Los Angeles. Della Femina is known for his larger-than-life personality and colorful language, and was referred to as a “‘Madman’ of Madison Avenue”. In 1970, he wrote a book about the advertising industry, humorously titled, From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor: Front-Line Dispatches from the Advertising War. The book became a best-seller, described by The Guardian as “one of the defining books about advertising”, and eventually inspired the television series Mad Men.

By Jerry Della Femina

I publish this column every year as a public service to make sure your friends and relatives will think twice before they send you an invitation that will screw you out of a precious summer weekend.

I ask this question every year.

Why do they do it? Why do our friends and relatives destroy the summer for us? Why can’t they get married in February? Why do they choose the middle of summer to have birthdays, anniversaries, Bar Mitzvahs, family, college, high school and even nursery school reunions.

That’s not all. Frankly, some of them are thoughtless enough to die in June, July and August, and there goes another summer weekend.

I promise that if it’s possible, when it’s time for me to go, I will go on life support until some rainy Friday morning in January so that my mourners can bury me early in the morning and still enjoy a three-day weekend. That’s the kind of generous guy I am.

Now I know you’re wondering what I’m ranting about, since you’re on top of the world because it looks like another endless summer ahead. Let’s just see how endless it really is.

Memorial Day has come and gone.

The 4th of July is only 34 days away. Then you blink and it’s Labor Day. That’s why every day of summer is so precious to us.

If you work Monday to Friday like me, that leaves you with around 14 summer Saturdays and Sundays, plus three (make that two) long holiday weekends.

So from the minute you’re reading this, summer weekends are a total of about 30 days.

Now you know that at least 9 or 10 of these days will be cold, rainy days where no matter how hard you try to avoid it you’ll end up arguing with your spouse.

All a man has to say is, “No, I don’t think it’s romantic to freeze my behind off walking in the rain on the beach. Why don’t we stay in bed and fool around?” and that’s when the pouting starts.

So write off 10 miserable days to weather and you’re left with around 20 days.

Sound like a lot?

I bet everyone reading this already has one lost weekend coming up when your Aunt Matilda is celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary and she and your Uncle Benny would be broken-hearted if you don’t show up on a beautiful Saturday afternoon to their house in Brooklyn or the Bronx or Westchester or wherever the hell they live.

So, now you’re down to 19 days. If you’re young enough to have children, that means you’re stuck with a trip to some summer camp with an Indian…er…er…Native American name in Maine or Massachusetts, in the middle of what always turns out to be the sunniest, most beautiful weather weekend of the summer.

This is where you are sentenced to spend the weekend admiring neatly made bunk beds and ceramic ashtrays (which in these politically correct days are called candy dishes). Show me a camp that is wise enough to schedule parents’ visiting days on a Monday and Tuesday and I will show you a camp that deserves the exorbitant amount of money they get to guard your kids for the summer. An amount of money, I might add, that is more than it took, a few short years ago, to cover the tuition that would get a child through four years of an Ivy League college.

If your children are grown it’s even worse. They have children and all their children are having birthday parties in town in July, where you will find yourself overcome by heat while you’re surrounded by 20 sticky five-year-olds playing musical chairs.

What frosts me is the weather. Did you ever notice that every one of the weekends you have to go to a family event is beautiful? The sun is shining. The sky is blue. And you are stuck in some disgusting catering hall, or, worse, drinking warm white wine out of a plastic cup in some relative’s backyard in White Plains.

Which brings me to summer weddings in New York City. They must be banned.

There are some facts that people who drag their friends away from the beach for their wedding must be made aware of. Jerry Seinfeld, an East Hampton resident, had a message for all the newly engaged couples: “Nobody wants to go to your wedding! We are not excited like you are.” Mr. Seinfeld is so so right. The only people who must attend a summer wedding are the bride and groom, their respective parents, the best man and the maid of honor and maybe a priest or a rabbi. All the other guests are hostages who may be smiling but inside they are seething because they have had one of their precious summer weekends screwed up.

I remind every dewy-eyed couple in my family that in the summer it’s bad luck to get married any place west of Westhampton. I remind them of the famous Della Femina curse, which is still going strong. I have, in my life, attended four weddings that took place on a summer holiday weekend (three Memorial Day, one Labor Day) and must report, in all honesty, only one of these couples is still married.

Pass the word – the marriages of people who screw up my holiday weekends are doomed.

Who Zippers Your Dress?

Everyone who is over 50 and is widowed should listen to this. We welcome your reactions. Susan Warner, a widow herself, will answer you. Send comments to loisw@hwhpr.com.

In this podcast ….

Silver Lining. Very few people who are widowed would ever admit that they can experience a newfound independence in their solo life. Susan Warner talks about this repressed emotion because everyone needs to understand it’s quite normal to suddenly realize, “You answer to no one and you may be able to enjoy it. There is nothing to feel guilty about. This is all part of the healing process.”

Susan quickly points out that she would do anything to bring back her husband and live the life she had before, but she knows that’s not going to happen. So now, she leads a life on her own terms. “I have loved and I have lost. I will do what I want, when I want, with whom I want.”

This episode is profound for both widowed and divorced people of any age. Susan leads you through a myriad of emotions that have a silver lining for those who want an independent, fuller, and self-reliant next chapter.

Listen to Susan’s podcast here – https://susanswarner.com/podcast/episode-6-who-zippers-your-dress/

And on popular podcast sites:

Amazon Music – https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/40b861c5-ffe5-4154-9100-546ee878dd74

Apple Podcasts – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/susan-is-suddenly-single/id1614156310

Google Podcasts – https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdXNhbnN3YXJuZXIuY29tL2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA

PocketCasts – https://pca.st/pan920jg

Spotify – https://open.spotify.com/show/1E9r3nWgusLU2gTMhRMtky

Audible – https://www.audible.com/pd/B09VFZZLHX

Hyperallergic is a leading voice in contemporary perspectives on art, culture, and more. The online publication was founded by the husband-and-husband team, Veken Gueyikian and Hrag Vartanian, in 2009 as a forum for playful, serious, and radical perspectives on art in society. With over one million visitors monthly, Hyperallergic combines round-the-clock art world news coverage with insightful commentary.

MembershipPosted inNews

Missing Picasso Resurfaces at Home of Former Philippines First Lady

Imelda Marcos and her husband were accused of plundering billions of dollars from the country.

by Elaine Velue May 22, 2022 Print

In photos of Bongbong Marcos, Jr.’s visit to Imelda Marcos last week, Picasso’s “Woman Reclining VI” can be seen hanging above the sofa on the left. (screenshot of a news broadcast from TV Patrol)

After winning the presidential election in the Philippines last week, Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos, Jr. made a publicized visit to the home of his mother, Imelda Marcos. In the background of their meeting, a supposedly seized Pablo Picasso painting made a surprise appearance. 

The 92-year-old ex-first lady of the Philippines is perhaps best known for her shoes, nearly 3,000 pairs of them, which were broadcast to the world when civilians stormed the presidential palace in 1986 and ousted her family from power. Her late husband, Ferdinand Marcos, Sr., had reigned as dictator since 1965, during which time he eliminated free speech, abolished congress, and enacted martial law for half his term. Marcos arbitrarily jailed tens of thousands of people and killed, tortured, and “forcibly disappeared” thousands more. The family fled to Hawaii and returned to the Philippines in 1991.

The family also stole an estimated $10 billionfrom the Filipino people, which they used to fund a famously opulent lifestyle — dozens of mansions, expensive cars, yachts, planes, helicopters, jewelry (worth at least $21 million), and of course Imelda’s designer shoe collection. As the country sank into recession, the family also bought millions of dollars worth of art, including Picasso’s “Reclining Woman VI.” The painting was supposed to have been seized in 2014.

The family has hidden its money, and art, so well that even after decades of trying, getting it back has proved nearly impossible. In 2018, Imelda Marcos was convicted of corruptionand sentenced to prison, but she never served her sentence, and only around $4 billion of the family’s fortune has been recovered.

In 2013, Imelda’s former assistant tried to sell four Impressionist paintings and was convicted of criminal tax fraud and conspiracy in New York. A year later, Filipino authorities seized 15 paintings from the Marcoses’ home in San Juan, including Picasso’s painting. 

And then in 2019, the ex-first lady was caught on film with the painting in Lauren Greenfield’s documentary The Kingmaker, but the sighting didn’t make much of a stir.

It is unknown whether the Picasso turned over in 2014 was a fake, or whether the one currently on display is. (Imelda has been known to acquire fake paintings.)

“Personally I know that what we seized was a fake,” the former head of the Presidential Commission on Good Government, the body that conducted the 2014 raid, Andres Bautista told Filipino news outlet Rappler last week.

The Marcos family returned to the Philippines in 1991, and Imelda was elected into the House of Representatives in the late 1990s. As the memory of her late husband’s dictatorship waned, she began to once again flaunt her wealth — saying things like “there is more money the government is not yet aware of” and “we own practically everything in the Philippines.” The brazen display of the Picasso suggests that she’s doing it again, now with the confidence of her family’s return to presidential power.

President-elect Bongbong Marcos does not acknowledge his father’s human rights abuses. In his campaign, he spread misinformation on social media to contort his family’s history and fuel nostalgia for the dictatorial regime. Sara Duterte was voted in as his Vice President. She is the daughter of outgoing president Rodrigo Duterte, who although popular, has repeatedly violated human rights, and his “war on drugs” has killed tens of thousands of Filipinos.

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“Brazen” Couple Tries to Walk Out of Manhattan Gallery With a Basquiat

The suspects attempted to take a Basquiat artwork valued at $45,000 from Taglialatella Galleries but instead made off with a half-empty bottle of whiskey.

by Valentina Di LisciaMay 26, 2022Print

The suspects in the theft captured walking down a street near the gallery (image courtesy NYPD)

A couple visited a New York gallery and casually attempted to walk out with an original artwork by Jean-Michel Basquiat. 

On Saturday, May 14, a man and a woman entered Taglialatella Galleries in Manhattan’s Chelsea neighborhood and proceeded to take a Basquiat screenprint off the wall. They were intercepted by a gallery worker on their way out.

“It was pretty brazen. We’ve had stuff stolen from the gallery before but nothing quite this obvious,” Taglialatella Galleries owner Brian Swarts told Hyperallergic. “Luckily my staff is quite attentive and courageous and one of the brave young women who work here literally pulled the piece from the guy’s hand.”Basquiat’s “Dog Leg Study” (1982/2019) in the gallery office (photo courtesy Taglialatella Galleries)

Measuring about three and a half feet wide framed, “Dog Leg Study” (1982/2019) was hanging in Swarts’s office, which also functions as a private viewing room for clients. Security camera footage showed the unidentified thieves making their way past the gallery’s public exhibition space and into the empty office, where they appeared to assess the artwork’s value by taking a photo and looking up details on their phone. 

They then lifted the piece off the wall and walked toward the gallery exit, also taking with them “about a third of a bottle of Maker’s Mark,” Swarts said. 

“Dog Leg Study” is valued at $45,000. In a news release, NYPD described the couple as having “an unknown European accent” and released surveillance footage showing the pair holding hands and walking down a street near the gallery. 

A spokesperson for the New York City Police Department (NYPD) told Hyperallergic that there have been no arrests and the investigation remains ongoing. 

It wasn’t the first time the gallery grappled with a robbery attempt. Last year, someone tried to purloin a Kaws figurine that was on display. “That’s typically what people try to steal, small sculptures or pieces they can put in a hoodie or a backpack,” Swarts continued. “But never a work that was framed like that.”

At the end of the day, though, Swarts said, “They made it out with a little bit of whiskey but nothing else. All is well.”

Thank you Bruce Mishkin for sharing your wisdom

We use it everyday— but do we really know it? Google its part of life but so much of it remains a mystery. Lying on the Beach’s Lois Whitman-Hess and Steve Greenberg go behind the Google curtain with Google expert and digital marketing expert Bruce Mishkin. You’ll never see Google the same way ever again.

L.A. Postcard

By the way Hannah Einbinder, Jean Smart’s, assistant comedy writer in the show, is the daughter of actress Laraine Newman—LWH

Paul W. Downs, one of the series’ creators, on what went into figuring out Jean Smart’s Deborah, the show’s hard-as-nails standup legend.

By Naomi Fry

May 23, 2022

Paul W. Downs, the writer, director, and actor, just had his first baby. “I have seven thousand pictures of him on my phone,” he said the other day, mid-browse, at T. L. Gurley Antiques, a shop in Pasadena. Scrolling fondly through shots of a round-cheeked infant, he said, “We’re really excited for when his eyes are open more, and he’s not either nursing or milk-drunk.”

Downs, at thirty-nine years old, is slight and dark-haired, with a face whose chiselled handsomeness recalls that of a nineteen-eighties soap star. He was wearing an open denim shirt over a white T-shirt. He and his wife, Lucia Aniello, are new partners in parenthood, but as writers they’ve been working together—Comedy Central’s “Broad City,” the Scarlett Johansson movie “Rough Night”—for a decade and a half. With the writer Jen Statsky, a friend, they co-created “Hacks,” which premièred last year and is now in its second season, streaming on HBO Max.

The series is a darkly comic exploration of the tumultuous relationship between Deborah (Jean Smart, in a star turn), a hard-as-nails standup legend, and Ava (Hannah Einbinder), a bratty young comedy writer. Downs plays Jimmy, a craven talent manager who brokers the collaboration between the two women. “Making a show is kind of like having a kid with someone,” Downs said. “This is going to sound bad, but it’s like the baby is our second child. When parents have a second kid, they’re almost . . . chiller?” He looked hopeful.

T. L. Gurley was crowded with curiosities, and Downs considered the wares: a large wooden squirrel, a sculpture of a Buddha strung with turquoise beads. The store had gained some attention after it was featured on “Hacks,” in a scene in which Ava goes on a wild-goose chase to find an ornate pepper shaker for Deborah, to match a saltshaker she already owns. “We knew we wanted Deborah to be a person who is a collector, who uses objects to tell herself, ‘I’m O.K.,’ ” Downs said. “Finding a pair for the shaker was symbolic, too, of her finding a creative love affair with this girl, which she hadn’t had in a long time.” He turned toward a suite of Staffordshire porcelain dogs. “This is a good face,” he said, of one brown-eared specimen. He and Aniello are regulars at the store. “We got a pair of consoles that were in Bud Abbott from Abbott and Costello’s house.”

Downs grew up in rural New Jersey. “My grandmother, even though she’s Italian, became a little obsessed with Americana, and ended up buying and selling antiques,” he said. “Then my parents had a stall in an antique mall.” His love of the past extended to comedy: “Even as a very young kid, I never watched cartoons. Instead, I watched Nick at Nite—Mary Tyler Moore, ‘I Love Lucy.’ ” After college, at Duke, he moved to New York, where he dabbled in standup, did improv, and began making comedy videos with Aniello. “We were friends for the first couple of years we knew each other,” he said. “And then love bloomed.”

In the years that followed, he, Aniello, and Statsky all worked on successful TV shows, but they wanted to make their own series. On a trip to Maine in 2016, they began kicking around an idea for a show focussed on an older female comedian. “We were talking about Phyllis Diller and, of course, Joan Rivers and Paula Poundstone, and how people our age often don’t appreciate their contributions to comedy—comedy is a thing that evolves, and someone can seem hacky even though earlier they were wildly influential.” He went on, “After that trip, I sent an e-mail to myself and Jen and Lucia with the subject ‘Show idea: young writer has a nightmare boss in older comedian but slowly gains respect for that person.’ ”

Tim Gurley, the shop’s gregarious owner, approached. “It was so Warholian,” he told Downs, of having his store in the show. “Five minutes of fame, fifteen . . . People I haven’t seen in years, especially from New York, reaching out.” He held up a brutalist bronze wind chime. “Isn’t it cool? It was designed by this guy Paolo Soleri, an architect, in the seventies. He studied with Frank Lloyd Wright!”

“You sold the landscape that was there,” Downs said, pointing at a wall.

“Yes. It was expensive,” Gurley said. “I’ll show you some stuff when you really get successful.” He lowered his voice in a conspiratorial, Hollywood-adjacent manner. “You signed for a three-show deal?”

“We’re concentrating on Season 2 of ‘Hacks,’ ” Downs said. He looked around. “If I had a store like this, I’d be, like, ‘I want to keep that.’ ”

“You have to know how to edit,” Gurley said.

“I have a good editor in Lucia,” Downs said. “She’s always, like, ‘Where will this go?’ ” He pointed at some Moroccan bowls. “How much are these?” ♦

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“To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” – Oscar Wilde

“The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.” –
Will Rogers


“We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars more
and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C.S. Lewis

“Old age comes at a bad time.” – San Banducci “


“Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.”
– Jennifer Yane

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir

“I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued.” – Bill Dane

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. – Mark Twain

“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.” – Tom Wilson

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home.”- Phyllis Diller

“I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.” – Rita Rudner

“I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.” – Phyllis Diller

“Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.” – George Burns

“Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” – John Wagner

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” – Leo Rosenberg

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty O’Neill Collins

“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

“It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.” – Unknown

“At my age, flowers scare me.” – George Burns

“I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed.” – Unknown

“Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty.” –
Alexander Hamilton

“The years between 50 and 90 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” –
T.S. Elliot

“At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves.” – George Orwell

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 90, we discover they haven’t been
thinking of us at all.” – Ann Landers

“When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile” – George Burns

“I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.” – Robert Brault

“The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.”
– Unknown

“As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy
Rooney ??

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzon

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino

“You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.” – John Mendoza

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their
final exam.”- George Carlin

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope

“I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?”- Barry Cryer

“All men are the same age.” – Dorothy Parker

“I don’t do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast.” – Anonymous

“By the time you’re 90 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

“Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.” – Conan O’Brien

“I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to.” – Albert Einstein

“You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.” – Hy Gardner

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.” – Mark Twain

“You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.”
– Joel Plaskett

“There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.” – Dennis
Wolfberg

“I’ve never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else.” —Josh Billings

“At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.” – Unknown

“Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.” – George Burns

“The idea is to die young as late as possible.” – Ashley Montagu

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns

“People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” – George Burns

“Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.” – Anonymous


Thank you cousin Harvey Oshinsky

We saw Downton Abbey : A New Era tonight. We really enjoyed it. We recommend. Great seeing old friends on the screen. 60 seats in Regal theater, Lincoln Road. 10 people showed up. Usher said this is not a popular movie for the young folks of Miami Beach. Good for us.

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The Perez Art Museum Miami celebrates the work of Marisol Escobar who was never given the proper recognition in the 1960’s art pop movement. While she drew thousands to her gallery exhibits and received tons of positive press over the years, she was not revered like the “New York Five”: Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein, Tom Wesselmann, James Rosenquist, and Claes Oldenburg. Women artists were treated second class. PAMM, plus others museums, are finally paying tribute to this exciting artist who created the most outrageous and fun sculptures. You must see this in person.

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And lunch and drinks too.

I met Stephanie Slade of Sacramento, CA, a few weeks ago on a business assignment. I found out that she homeschools her children. I was fascinated by the things I learned from her. I wanted you to hear them too. Click the video above.



Many people in the United States feel ‘homeschooling” is old fashion.

Stephanie Slade of Sacramento, CA, is a homeschool mom of two — ages 5 and 8.

This is her 4th year of homeschooling. She carefully explains on this podcast that ‘home schooling” is becoming more popular every year.

More and more parents are becoming dissatified with the cirriculum being offered in public education.

Today there are approximately four million students who get their education at home.

Stephanie helps run a large homeschool group called Bridgeway Homeschool that supports about 750 kids.

She currently is planning a Northern California Homeschool Convention that will take place in Rocklin CA this summer.

We urge you to listen to this podcast. Stephanie is an expert. If you have any additional questions, we can put you in touch with her.

Listen to the podcast here – https://www.lyingonthebeach.com/2022/05/17/homeschooling/

View the video interview with Stephanie Slade on the Lying on The Beach on Camera YouTube Page – https://youtu.be/TzYTDC-kilA

Lying on the Beach Podcast is also available on various podcast sites including Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Audible.